Fan’s Complaint

Bad Route Rd
NO SERVICES

Home on the Range
NO SERVICES

???

***

Somewhere in North Dakota, a tumbleweed crossed my path.

iPod sentience: entering the painted canyon area of North Dakota, my iPod decides to play “The Trio” from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It was to be the only time during today’s drive that felt the way my last trip did, everything coming together just right to bring a smile to my face. The rest of the drive was tiresome and lonely.

Maybe I am getting too old for this.

A few weeks ago, I was asked whether Fan’s Complaint is dead. My answer was, “Pretty much.”

I realize I’ve taken long breaks before, but this time it felt different. I’d been doing a lot of writing, and it actually felt like I was getting somewhere.

These past few days though, the writing has been more of a struggle than it had ever been. Sure, there have been times in the past when I went nearly a year without really writing, but that was when I wasn’t trying at all. Never in my writing “career” have I experienced so much frustration after such an intense and sustained effort.

I am supposed to leave New York indefinitely in, oh, let’s see, about 28 hours. I’d told myself that come hell or high water I’d finish this damned story before I had to hit the road. I’ve gotten three pages done this week. When the story started, I was having fun writing it. It was work, but it felt rewarding. Now, it just feels as though I’m artlessly putting the characters through their paces, very visibly pulling their strings, and I don’t think it does them any justice whatsoever.

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